At the fine young age of just four years old, I experienced death first hand.
It happened upon a warm and mellow day in my hometown of Santa Cruz California. My parents were at work for the day which left my brother age five and I in the hands of our teenaged babysitter; one miss Debbie Dermades. She surprised us with a trip to the local public swimming pool at Harvey West Park located just a mile or so away. The idea I suppose was that while we entertained ourselves in the pool she could visit with her friends on the bleachers over looking us. Mind you, there were always lifeguards on duty and this would seem in essence, to be a perfectly safe thing to do. We had each had our fair share of children’s swimming lessons earlier in the season or the year prior, I'm unsure.
It's important to note here that I admired my brother like no other. I trusted him with every ounce of my being. We were happily playing and splashing along for maybe a half hour or so... The pool, like most other large pools across the nation changed depth in a certain pattern. One end was maybe three feet deep or so, progressively getting deeper and deeper in half foot increments every four or five feet further you moved, till you reached what was called "the deep end" it supported maybe eight feet deep of water, to be sure the diving board users were sufficiently supplied a viable source in which to jump to.
Having begun at the shallowest end of the pool we played a game where we would attempt to walk the very bottom of the pool. (No swimming allowed) just walk it until we could walk no further. We'd then read the depth on the side of the pool to see how tall we were at our ending point. I never said we were bright kids! But this seemed at the time to be a perfectly joyous game with a purpose at that.
My brother was out just a few feet before me, I followed excitedly. We called back and forth to one another each inch we took "can you touch?" and "yah, I can touch" this signified to me I was safe to move a bit deeper and deeper. Now, I was well aware that my brother was a bit taller than I. I carefully accounted for this difference in our heights! This is, exactly why he went before me by several feet. For I knew when he said he could no longer touch I would no go another step. So calling back n' forth we went on about this game for just a few minutes or so laughing along the way. I called "Can you touch" he responded "Yah."
What I didn’t account for was his sense of humor. He was now at this point treading water and only pretending to be able still, to touch the bottom. Gullible, trusting me stepped another foot forward into the depths of the pool....
;;;;;blub, blub, blub...
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;blub, blub, blub
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;blub, blub, blub
Swallowing every bit of water I could on my way down. I was so panicked now I couldn’t think to swim to the surface I just folded to fetal position. I could hear all those typical sounds of laughter and shrieks you hear under water. I could see legs all around my eyes still wide open. I heard a whistle or two from the lifeguards.
The next thing I saw or felt was very odd.... A heavy weight put over the entire bit of my body (I later decided this must have been the army style wool blanket put over me to help from going into shock); next I'm viewing my body from three or four feet in the air. I'm looking at it and have no physical attachment to it what so ever. None! I'm witnessing these panicked people all about my body, no one I recognized at all. Then I see my babysitter freaking out trying to embrace this body, tears streaming down her face.
People are comforting her; people are doing all sorts of things to the body. I am confused and maybe even amused to see all these people flipping out over this clearly empty body. I felt really no emotions at all... No sadness, no pain, no hurt, no discomfort, no remorse, no anything. I could hear clearly word for word everything being said in the room. Sometime here the paramedics arrive and they hook the body up to different tube style things. I hear I'm not getting any heartbeat, NO HEARTBEAT!!! I thinking "And.." completely detached from the entire situation. No worries or cares at all, NONE!!! I'm still amused somewhat however. Thinking "Why are all these people freaking out over such a trivial thing, such a nothing event?"
Sometime over the next half hour or so, the body has been transported to the local hospital. My parents have both been contacted and have made their way to the hospital where they are told "She is dead.." My father is sighing and holding my grief stricken mother. Tears are abundant. The body is moved to the hospitals morgue room. My father whispers something to the body’s ear, of which I couldn’t hear. I gasp for air, choking.. And I'm clearly inside my body again. I'm taking full lung capacity gulps of air- the air hurts! I feel my lungs burn, my face is twitching, I'm unable to control my movements or hear anything for what seems like hours (I later discover it was just a few moments after my father visited the body) a nurse is clearly shocked by the site of my gasping. I hear hang on, hang on, oh shit, doctor, doctor!!!!!!!!!! She grasped my wrist, said everything’s ok honey, everything’s gonna be ok... You hear me? I nodded my head up n' down and tears filled my eyes.
These were not tears of fear, fright, or sadness but tears of joy total completeness. I felt loved, nourished, and safe all at once. I knew I was in my chosen body, with my chosen family and no longer felt discomfort at the idea of body release. This was what I called the event that took place "BODY RELEASE" it was ultimate freedom from any and all stress, worry, and earthly attachments. Wow!
Over the next few days I stayed at the hospital and listened to one relative after another tell me what a lucky girl I was. The nurses, the doctors all referred to my being here a miracle in itself. I knew however that I was lucky both inside my body and out! I was a spirit, energy matter temporarily occupying a body in order to accomplish things physically. To stay grounded. "Does this make sense?" I'd ask my parents... They really never knew how to respond. I later explained to my parents that clearly I chose them. They laughed at this idea. It was for REAL though.
I don't believe to this very day some 30+ years later my brother has ever apologized? This trick he played on me in humor has most likely profoundly effected how he is in life. He's very serious to the point of seeming anal, LOL! Maybe I should just go ahead and give him a call just to tell him, that I've forgiven him a long, long, time ago!
Over the years I’ve heard many stories of a fear of death. I cannot really connect with this false and unfounded way of feeling or thinking. I look back to a time of freedom, complete freedom! This is a time when the problems of society, had no effect on my being.
To the best of my memory: I didn’t see a white light, or a tunnel of any sort. But what I did see was actually felt stronger than any physical feeling to date. It was pure, unconditional Love.
I am pleased to share with everyone or anyone who’ll listen…
We are a spirit experiencing a physical life, (or) another, (or) another.
We keep on living having different physical adventures while in the flesh.
Our spirit carries with it the karma, rewards, love, etc. no matter which body we choose to inhabit. When our flesh dies we are NOT dead. Our spirit is released to continue its path. Sometimes choosing another incarnation, sometimes not. Our spirit is "LIFE" -flesh is just a way of containing and focusing this "LIFE" to a particular set of goals, experiences, etc.
Ever heard the saying: "mourn a birth and rejoice a death"
Death, meaning PHYSICALLY of flesh is something to celebrate! This means FREEDOM, release from earthly desires, man's rules, man's laws, social expectations, religious dogma's, etc.
Where as; Birth means confinement and suffering of physical pains, illnesses, diseases, emotional drama, hardships, etc.
Though the lessons can be profound while in physical state, it is all the same, undesirable, compared to true FREEDOM. Often times we choose physical life not for our own lessons but rather to help others who have lost their way... spiritual path no longer their focus.
I believe that Linda Goodman herself is one of these sort! Look at how many she's helped remind, guide, and focus to their spiritual side? Even today this continues while we all meet here in this blog. We seek companionship, love, guidance, spiritual nourishment, etc.
I know without any doubt whatsoever LIFE is not something that we can currently measure physically. LIFE is spirit. Body contains spirit for the most part [astral travel, aura, etc.] may be considered uncontained spirit, LOL!
All the same LIFE existed before the body you chose and will continue long after! I say this with most certainty because I believe it 100% -I have in fact experienced physical death in this physical life!
(¸.´ (¸.´ .´ ¸¸.¨¯`.
Copyright © November 2007